Monday, May 09, 2005 :::
 

Have to keep the walls up. More on that in a minute. Things are going good. A lot of work to do, but the train named "Out of Darkness" is moving ahead. I was with JW a few nights back and we got another sponsor to come aboard. I am going to do a sponsor report, so all the sponsors can see how the show is doing and where the money is going. And unfortunately, it is going. There are a lot of things to buy and I do manage to pay people here and there. Which I'm glad to do. As long as I can justify ever expense, it is OK.

I don't exactly pay me. I did get some things for me, but they are really for the show. New tinier cell phone. I've been using it a lot more than I planned lately. I am always out bouncing around and thus calling people on the show.

I still have to write #3 and plan out the season. I do have a scene with the "wife," this Friday. I will probably go pick her up. Haven't been down around Athens in quite some time. She's fun and we talk on some personal things. WHICH I WILL NOT MENTION EVER. The "wife" and I can be Private with one another. It is nice that we can share things.

Now about those "walls." The more time you spend with people, the more you get to know them. We all have our weaknesses. And I just found out one of a friend of mine. We are still friends, but the level of trust has changed and I put up a wall. I did talk to my friend about certain things, but now, I wouldn't even think about doing that. I hate keeping things bottled up, but what can one do? It never really pays to open up.

So I had to build a wall between me and a friend. Story of my life.

Anyway, I then had to open up to someone else. I didn't want to, but I was feeling bad, so I did. Now, that I did, I have to remember to keep that wall up too. Can't open up. Got to remember that.

I know there are people, who meet perfect strangers and tell them their whole life story. I am sure, they feel a certain relief in getting things out off their system. I am sure, it is probably starting to affect my health or/ and my soul by having no one I can really open up to. Yet, as paradoxically as I am by "opening" up here, I am still guarded and private.

Now, I do like making the TV show. And I do get some fame here and there. Not exactly fortune, but the money does come every now and then. I really don't like the fame. It is odd, for me. I always downplay it. I got the story on WOIO. And I am not bragging, but just stating a fact here, none of the other filmmakers here have gotten a story like that on the news. And yet, not one of the few dozen people I know have talked to me about it. I don't expect them to praise me, but they could at least say, good job there getting a news story or at least acknowledge it happened. Nope. Nothing. Nada.

Which just reminds me to keep that WALL up at all times.

Still, I have some good ties in the business community here. And they are supportive of the TV Show. And they are coming out of their pocket and writing checks. Now, that is the kind of attention and support I need. That keeps the show going and moving to the next level.

I know. So, why be be bothered by the lack of attention from the "film community" here? I don't know? I just expected a little more "community" here. I know if one of them had gotten a news story, they'd be praised like it was the second coming. Still, I am getting support and funds and the train is moving ahead.

I have a lot of work to do. I am obligated to keep this thing moving. And it is. I just needed to vent and get that stuff out of my system so I can move on. Whew!

Now, back to work.

::: posted by Alex at 3:05 AM