Friday, March 21, 2003 :::
 

I don't have anything planned for tomorrow, but I was supposed to do some stuff today, but all this "politicking" is wearing me down. When I am in the midst of it, I am OK cause I am passionate about it, but when I get way from it, then I get tired. have to remember not to take that "You are the Man" stuff too seriously. Been getting some praise lately for doing this stuff, but it's just what I do, so that is it. Wish I had other kind of attention, but hey, I guess that comes later. Finally talked to DM again. Have to take a new approach there. Not be so open about what I am doing.

From a financial standpoint, I won't say things are bad, but the cash flow coming in is lacking. I guess that is why I don't take the "You are the Man" stuff too serious. This fame without fortune or affection is really ...well, it's not so appealing right now. Still I am moving ahead, so that is good. Starting to get a little pick up in the press. My pic in the Crain's was really nice. And I have a few other things to be happy about in that department.

So, oh yeah, I released "The Hot Rain" as the complete movie. It's so funny I never did that before. I think only a handful of people have saw the entire movie. In editing, I watched it again. The quality is kind of rough, but the story holds up. Personally my character is a bit of an asshole and not as warm as I thought he was. Which is kind of odd for me to see myself that way. Moody, brooding, and all. The sad part is, I actually acted that way in real life around that time.

Anyhow, I thought I had got over acting that way, but everytime I get smitten with a new girl, I go back to that way again. Of course my Mom's "You need a wife" statements never help. Yeah, I need a lot of things. Had one of those. Still Laura and I wouldn't have worked out in the long run. I knew that, She knew that. Actually I should be glad we are not together. Still I miss her every now and then. I think the fondest thing I remember about her is how I would wrap my arms around her and she use to hold my hand all night. I'd wake up every hour on the hour like always and she'd be sound asleep holding my hand. She had this long blonde hair and after she left for the longest time, I would sometimes wake with a strand of her hair on me.

I know I'm pretty sad and pathetic right now anytime I start thinking of Laura.

Anyhow, I guess it's cause Ali in "The Hot Rain" was a blonde as well. I still don't care for blondes, but I keep ending up with them.

::: posted by Alex at 11:06 PM

Tuesday, March 18, 2003 :::
 

Made the dubs of "The IT girl" and "The Hot Rain" to send to a fest in Akron and have to send 'The IT girl off to a film distributor in UK. And doing the TV thing too. Kind of nervous about what to say cause they end up cutting your best stuff anyway and just leave you with little sound bytes. I went back and re-read Craig Harris' first e-mail to me. I kind of feel I am stealing his spotlight, but I am the guy who encouraged him to enter the dreambuilders. It is cool that he won. I think and still believe you have to help people out (which is how I can seque into the Indie Cleveland thing). And of course drop mention of the websites. Hey, just out that "prelude to cinema" search on the web still comes up with my site.

Man, I have to remmeber in zen there is no right or wrong. No good or bad. Probably should read the Tao te Ching before I go out today. Which is funny cause it's quote in the first part of "The Hot Rain."

Found out I have a chance to see the Mayor this Wed. and ask a question. Of course the WAR will be in full swing by then, so other things will be on her mind and she might need to cancel. The terror alert is on orange now. So, who cares about movies. Of course, historically, the movie business seems to always do well. well, people need to be entertained. Never doubt the power of escapism.

I still feel political with all this stuff going on and I really should be getting ready now. have to iron my shirt and tie and suit and at least I shaved. Got to print out invites to the "Movies Are Taxing Too!" event for TV 5 and 43. Haven't been to 43 in a while, so that should be fun. Still, all this is coming quite fast. I should be happy, but I'm in one of those Woody Allen moods.

My Palm pilot alarm is going off. OK, it has a snooze, but still should really get off the web here.

I am thinking right now of the quote, "Be careful what you wish for."

::: posted by Alex at 6:29 AM

Monday, March 17, 2003 :::
 

RM just wants to be friends. Which is OK. The other would have been better, but what's a guy to do. Anyway, sometimes it dosen't pay to "open up to a woman." That's one of the key lines in my movie "The Hot Rain" and I forgot to live by it. Got a TV thing tomorrow, so I really should be sleep, but I have to psyche myself up for it. I can remember I quite drinking after college, but I wish I hadn't. Anyway the movie thing is going OK, so I can't complain. Still, it is taking a lot out of me. A lot going on and all at once.

Saw the IT girl. She was fine and we did the shot which went OK. Supposed to work on a commercial for p2c with the IT girl, but that is a lot of work and I am tired as it is.

Going to enventually burn out from all this stuff. I have to, but I keep going for some reason. I guess the time is a winding down!

::: posted by Alex at 10:00 PM